Friday, January 6, 2012

Bighands strikes again

This blog is very popular with hand fetishists these days, and it's all my fault. I'm not a hand fetishist. Not my thing. But I've written several open letters about a big-hand fetishist out there and, I believe at this point, it has attracted more hand fetishists than I ever knew existed. I used to think it was one person, one handloving dude—how naive I was. Each day, dozens of hand-fetishists are checking out my blog via hand-related search terms. From this past week alone I've got people googling: "big hands," "huge hands," "huge hands short girl," "female hand fetish" and "girl with big hands," and that's not an exhaustive list there, friends. I mean ... what can I say? It's weird. You hand googlers baffle me. As I type this, three hand googlers are on my blog. One of them is German. The way you say "big hands" in German is große Hände.

Anyway, I know what you're thinking. You're like, "Geez, Faith, stop blogging about hand people if you don't like the hand people." But that's where you, the hypothetical second person I imagine as some kind of middle-aged balding man with glasses probably because I just listened to a Woody Allen record, are wrong; I am so joyfully bewildered (there should be a German word for that, ja?) by these visitors I wish I had some something to offer them. Because I'm pretty sure this post I'm writing now ain't exactly what they were looking for when they typed "sexy big hands" into their search engine.

Hand people, I love you all. I want to write a story about you. Maybe it will be called "Girl with Huge Hands," I don't know. Anyway, all this gets me to thinking about SEO shit I've never thought about. I guess I don't type long blog posts very often, but for whatever reason, some things stick in people's google-machines and some things don't.

I never wanted to be the big hand lady, or the hand-fetishist blog; but here I am. Googlers sometimes get here via "jesus on a motorcycle" and that always makes my day. Today I got "crazy horse motorcycle mama female vocals," which was wondrous. I guess I have to blog more about things that don't have to do with hands from now on to get a little variety going here. Okay, fine. Okay maybe.

I wonder if sign language turns hand fetishists on?

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