Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Sea Beast Movies: Day of the Dolphin

So, obviously, when I found out there was a movie about a dolphin who tried to kill the president I was thrilled. I mean ... there are no words for exactly how favorably that plot, and the promise of this movie poster, struck me. When I found out it was on Netflix instant I popped the corns, settled my butt in its familiar sofa-divot and pressed play.

Right away though I knew something was horribly awry with this alleged sea beast film. Paul Sorvino was in this movie. He had silly boxy 70s hair, but still. Paul fucking Sorvino. George C. Scott, for Christ's sake. What are these seriousheads doing in a campy sea beast movie? Answer: this movie is not campy, at least not ha-ha entertaining campy in the way I had hoped. It took itself so seriously I got tired of watching a grown grumpy man bond with a pair of dolphins and shut the movie off before the damn dolphin attached the bomb to the president's yacht. Also the dolphins' voices were like grownups imitating creepy babies.

How a movie about a dolphin who tried to kill the president could bore me to the point of being unwatchable, I do not know, but Day of the Dolphin was just that. Wikipedia told me it was nominated for Academy Awards and shit. Not cool. Other than Jaws, I don't really want any class in my sea beast films, thankyouverymuch.

Day of the Dolphin: not recommended. However, the Simpsons parody of it in the "Night of the Dolphin" segment of their Treehouse of Horror XI is.

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