Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Blogspotlight #4

I really enjoyed this one.

Blog name: Iamnothing.blogspot.com.
Number of entries: 6.
Dates: April-June 2001.

We begin with Kent, a narcissistic teen who describes a religion he's created called Kent-tholocism; a mysterious disease he thinks he is dying of; the drama of bleaching his hair and then dyeing it blue; why he watches COPS and how "the media fucking owns you." Brilliant.

But the fun doesn't end there -- about midway through his posts, his blog gets hijacked by his girlfriend. Her introduction:

“This is Jenny. Well, I did something that most of you would think is really fucking stupid and/or crazy. I joined the Navy. Yes, my ass belongs to the government for the next four years. The reasons I did this are too complicated to clutter Kent's blog, but basically I want to travel, make money, gain self-confidence, blah, blah, blah.

Tonight I went to Club Foot. It was boring. It was packed, the music was good, and I chatted a bit with my friend/bartender Roseanne, but it was boring. Too many happy fucking couples around me, making me sick of love and pissed off. People hugging and making out in front of my face, throwing it in my eyes. I always despised couples who made out in public. Get a fucking room, why doncthya'? I am trying to hide it, but I feel lonely inside. I bought the movie "Wonderland" the other day and watched it, and that one character, the single one, Nadia, reminds me a lot of myself. She's lonely too, and unsatisfied with her life.”

The Navy! Club Foot! The loneliness! You can't make this stuff up.

After that Jenny continues the blog for a couple entries. They buy a puppy. They have sex. They listen to The Smiths. Then the last entry comes back to Kent, the self-described "Golden-haired God." He describes his short-lived stint working at a butcher counter, and then the blog ends with his budding infatuation for a homeless girl who his parents adopted to clean his kitchen.

Hooray for Blogspotting.

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